To Play or Not to Play, Shouldn't Even Have Been a Question!

Melanie lives with her husband and young daughter in a small town in Canada. Her family has opened their home as a billet family for Junior hockey players multiple times. The following is a story involving one of her hockey player billets.

The day I became a mother, something shifted inside me. I became more in tune with others’ feelings and more aware of dangerous situations before they happened. Not just for my daughter, but for everyone around me. The Mamma bear reference is a real thing, you don't truly experience until that magical day arrives. 

Recently, the scariest night of my life happened, in my own home. I wasn't experiencing fear for myself, but fear for my daughter and fear for the safety of a Junior A hockey player left in my care. 

At around 4am on a Tuesday morning, I was abruptly awoken by loud voices outside my bedroom door. I opened my bedroom door and it was a team of OPP officers who had been dispatched to my residence for reports of gunshots and a murder having taken place. My husband and my murder, to be exact. Reported by our hallucinating billeted hockey player. After stepping into the hallway I could clearly see about 8 heavily armed Police officers in my house, and multiple squad cars parked outside. 

Now, this is a description of a scene out of a TV series or movie. Not something a family living in a small community should ever have to experience. How we got to this moment is where the real story is, and what happened after this experience. Let me start at the beginning. 

This wasn't our first time taking in and being a billet family for hockey players who played for our local Junior A team. When our player arrived, he had already experienced a negative situation with his previous billet family. On day 2 of having him in my home, we noticed little things with his behaviour that were "different". He would be very forgetful and often spoke to himself. He informed us he had suffered a concussion a year before and he had been experiencing a few minor symptoms (in his opinion, ones that weren't of concern at all). It was then we first raised concern and questions with the team about his concussion and ability to play safely. 

A few days later after practice one night our hockey player had an emotional breakdown. We discussed going home with him, and he was on the fence about it. He carried on with the team even though he was being bullied by other players and unhappy. 

A few weeks later, it came to our attention that a work vehicle had been taken from our property without authorization by our hockey player. This was a serious lack of judgment on his part. The team was aware of this happening and we called into question his mental state. Nothing was done to check into his health. After that incident there were other noticeable behaviours which led us to suspect he was experiencing further post-concussion symptoms. He had eye sensitivity to light, headaches, insomnia, almost immediate forgetfulness after speaking about something, and a glazed look when we spoke to him. We raised further concerns with the team, suggested he go home to be checked out but no further action was made by them.

The day before the big incident our hockey player was taken to the hospital first thing in the morning complaining of headaches, dizziness, trouble breathing, and numbness in his legs. He wasn't there more than a few hours, and returned back to us with the diagnosis of having a flu virus. If he had been sent for further testing, maybe the incident wouldn't have happened at all. 

After the incident, we asked for the officers to take him for an evaluation and they said they spoke to him and he was ok. Despite the fact he had just hallucinated our murders and reported them to the police. We explained what we had been experiencing and they still left him in our care. The next day we asked for further support from the hockey team leadership. We finally spoke with his parents (after repeated requests for contact information), and they were also in denial. They were unaware of anything we had been experiencing. Instead of being sent home for proper evaluation, the team convinced him he was ok to continue playing and they were looking for a new billet family to take him in. I am also sad to say, they denied knowing anything about him having a previous concussion. They were putting his health below the needs of the team. Our hockey player was making excuses for the event taking place and remained in denial about the seriousness of his current condition. With the team constantly calling and messaging him he was being heavily influenced to stay and play.

That night, I slept in my daughter's room with her and we barricaded the door just in case. Our hockey player remained in our care for 80 hours until his parents finally arrived to bring him home. I had mixed feelings about having him stay with us. We decided we weren’t having him leave our home unless he was safe back with his parents. It was a scary time for me personally. I wasn't sleeping properly and experiencing anxiety about it. My daughter had nightmares almost every night for 2 weeks (and was insistent on sleeping in our bed). 

As a parent it is often difficult to think of our children being in an unhealthy state or unsafe situation. Especially being put in the situation by someone of authority like the hockey leadership team. There needs to be proper health and safety regulations put in place for minor sports and the management of concussions. Education is the first step, to educating those involved in sports on what symptoms to look out for and how to manage post-concussion experiences. 

That mamma bear instinct is far reaching. If my story can help touch the life of even one athlete, then I can feel relief. My goal is to bring awareness to post concussion symptoms and behaviours and educate on what parents, friends, coaches, and almost strangers should be on alert for.